Understandable, a first date may be a nerve-racking experience. Many of us feel anxious when meeting a potential romantic partner. If you find each other online, it is your first face-to-face encounter, and many things may go wrong. Of course, it like any social occasion, it requires a set of skills. Remember the most common blunders and avoid them at all costs. Here is the top five.
- Me, Myself, and I
Do not be self-absorbed. Every human loves talking about oneself. This is a universal principle. Never allow your dialogue to turn into a lengthy monologue. Remember: on a date, your conversation must resemble a tennis match, not a golf game. Both parties should be allowed to contribute. There must be a constant exchange of opinions and ideas.
If you only talk about yourself, you seem narcissistic. However, this behavior is absolutely natural when we are nervous. No matter how uneasy you get, be considerate. Ask your date questions requiring more than a yes/no response. You may prepare some of these beforehand. Show interest in your date’s passions and experiences. This is an effective seduction technique.
- High Expectations
A first date is simply your opportunity to impress the person you like and to get to know them better. This is especially true for online daters. The first date is when communication is enhanced with the nonverbal language. It is not the right time to get all serious and start drafting a blueprint for your life together. This will often sound intimidating, and it sure feels like pressure. Hence, never jump into the subject of future childcare and mortgage the first time you see your potential spouse.
3. Being Stuck in the Past
Focus on the present moment and the person sitting in front of you. They have not come here to listen to a litany of your ex’s flaws. First, it conveys bitterness and inability to move on. This means you are unprepared for a new romance. Secondly, discussion of other people you have slept with is hardly appealing. If asked, give only the outline, but skip the details. Your demeanor must show that your date is your priority.
- Becoming Too Personal
A first date must never feel like police questioning. Build up a dialogue by asking questions, but do not scrutinize the candidate like some lab sample. Follow the etiquette rules. Only let them tell you what they are willing to tell. Never pressure anyone into talking about some deeply personal experiences.
- Do Not Be Suggestive about Sex
Never suggest meeting at your place. This is a deterrent unless you know you are both looking for a fling. Although you might both get aroused by the end of the evening, sex is not a conversation topic. Focus on your date’s personality and life story, not the body.